Tall Tales from Erin and Ryan

The following email brightened not only my day but that of many of my shipmates, who are forced to listen to me brag about my twin savant cousins on a fairly regular basis. Oh, you too Todd.

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Grace,
  I wanted to share with you the tall tales that Erin and Ryan wrote in school. Included is Erin's infamous 'Grace Night' story. It has been confirmed with the author that the character is based on a close relative.

Love,
Todd

p.s. As always, your blog is entertaining, enlightening and provides welcome stress relief at the end of a day. I'm working with a former Navy officer that is well versed in the various maritime ceremonies such as crossing the equator. I was able to impress with my small amount of knowledge gained through your blog. In short, your blog enables me socially...

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Erin James

Tall Tale

5th Grade (2009)



Secret Agent Grace Night



  This is a story of one of the greatest secret agents ever to live. Her name is Grace Night. Grace is stronger than one hundred rhinoceroses and smarter than Einstein. She had a lot of great adventures, but this is her best one.



  Secret Agent Grace Night got dressed and rode her solid gold jet to her new middle school. Then she walked off the jet and into the fifty foot tall front doors. She’d never even been to this school before. The only reason Grace was there is because she was on a mission. To succeed, Grace had to find her arch nemesis Doctor Destruction.



  When Grace got to her locker, which was the size of a pea, she figured out that a girl named Sarah had a locker right next to her’s. Grace and Sarah introduced themselves and figured out they had all of their classes together. The next day in school, they found out they had two five hundred page quizzes the next day. So, that night Grace went to Sarah’s house to study. When she went to find the bathroom, she got lost and found out something she would’ve never expected to see. At a desk was Doctor Destruction laughing with his half-horse side kick Chiron.



  Mysteriously, the next morning, Grace woke up in her bed. When she went downstairs for breakfast, her mother said she had gotten a note. She over looked it. It was, “Meet me at the junkyard at 10:00 a.m.” So she got ready and ran to the junkyard as fast as a cheetah! When Grace got there, she spotted Doctor Destruction on the far side of the junkyard that is right next to a cliff that overlooks the whole state. They started to brawl right away. It lasted almost a decade, until Doctor Destruction made a false move. His foot got caught in a hole and he fell off the cliff.



   These days Sarah is living with her mother and Grace is solving more mysteries than ever before. That is the amazing story of Grace Night, teenage secret agent.



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Ryan James

Tall Tale

5th Grade (2009)



Harry Lingo and the Giant Robot



  Many years ago, before computers or TV’s, there lived a man named Harry Lingo. He was a professional wrestler two hundred years ago. His greatest victory awas when he took on the giant robot in Arizona.



  One morning, he walked into the ring to fight Rampage. The bell sounded. After five rounds, he finally pinned Rampage down. Harry knew the only reason he triumphed was because he had superhuman strength. He had it because his dad was a scientist and one of his experiments went bad. That’s when he decided to get into the wrestling business.



  After the fight, an elderly man walked up to Harry. He had a big, bushy mustache. “Are you harry Lingo,” he asked.



  “Yes. I am,” replied Harry.



  “I’m Joe Bombo,” said the man.  “I wanted to know if you’re up for a challenge,” asked Joe.



  “Sure,” replied Harry.



  Joe walked up to the microphone. “I challenge harry Lingo to a wrestling match,” he said.



  “I accept,” yelled Harry.



  Harry was determined to win when he stepped into the ring. To his astonishment, Joe didn’t step into the ring. He walked up to a big box and opened it. Out stepped a colossal, mechanical robot. “This is Robo,” said Joe. Harry figured he would fight him anyway. The bell sounded. Robo moved with marvelous speed. He got behind Harry and jumped on his back. Harry was so enraged that he threw Robo through the roof. Robo hit a plane and exploded. A piece of him fell down to earth so hard it made the Grand Canyon.



  “Well done son,” said Joe. Harry then realized that Joe was short for Joseph and Bombo was his dad’s middle name.



  “Dad,” said Harry. He was close to tears.



  “Yes, I am”, said Joe.



  Harry Lingo will always live on in the legends. This story will be told for generations to come.