All on board the MV Explorer were visited this morning by King Neptune and her Highness Aphirite - our Captain Jeremy and his wife painted a violent shade of green and sporting grass skirts and wigs - to test our worthiness for initiation into the Order of the Deep as his trusty Shellbacks. Pollywogs were dunked in foul smelling goo from the kitchens before swimming through the pool and kissing at least one fish on the other side. After bowing at the feet of our visitors we were officially deemed Shellbacks with the option of having our heads shaved by the royal barbers to show our dedication. The truly devout take it to the skin.
In other words, your author now has less hair than her father.
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